Wedding Tableau
love
The surprise party
Despite my best efforts, I am usually late. I try really, really hard and bargain with the universe to be on time, and then I am so sorry I’m late. That’s how it came to pass that this morning I was fifteen minutes (but only fifteen!) late to brunch (after pushing back the meeting time twice–how does this happen?), and it is also why I’m only starting to blog about my wedding now, almost 4 months after the event. I think since it has been so long, I should just post pictures from the actual wedding since that’s what people really want to see, but I like being thorough, so let’s begin at the beginning.
Way back in July, my friends surprised me with the most perfect party I could ever have imagined. It was technically my bachelorette party. It was so perfect that there are almost no pictures because everyone was too busy having fun. Here is the little photographic evidence I do have.
There were homemade streamers and confetti, a big lavender-blackberry cake and tiny thumbcakes, snacks on snacks on snacks, and Drake on the stereo. Then, we went out dancing, and we walked straight into my dream place, which Tasha, Devin, and I had tried to go to for my birthday but weren’t even allowed to stand in line! Then, we ate falafel with a hot sauce so spicy it made me sob. It was hands-down the best falafel I’ve ever had. Then, we had a sleepover and watched an episode of ‘The Newlywed Game’ from 1966 with a surprisingly feminist contestant who seemed to be very happily married! And finally, we went on an epic quest for my favorite New York City brunch that culminated in a free cab ride. The whole time I kept looking around and realizing, ‘My friends really, really know me. They understand me, and they like me!’
I’ve never liked the concept of a bachelor/ette party. You know, “One last hurrah before you lose all your freedoms!” Ew. But a celebration of friendship and being 100% accepted for who you are? That’s a party I’d like to throw for every single one of my friends. Whether or not they get married is irrelevant.
First
It’s our first weekend in New York together, or rather it’s the hundredth one we’ve spent here but the first one we’ve spent as two New York residents, living in the same apartment, with no place else to be. It’s our first weekend in New York ~together forever~ if you know what I mean. And if you don’t, what I mean is we’re married!
This morning we went to look at a place where maybe we will make a home. ‘Is it a room or an apartment?’ ‘It’s both! It’s a two-in-one!’, we joked. A front door that locks, space for a bed, a stove, a little fridge, and a bathroom. That’s all anyone really needs, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed.
After the apartment viewing, we came home and made tomato soup with tomatoes of every color and ate it with homemade bread, a wedding present from our friends in Wisconsin.
Our life is one big wedding present lately. Heartfelt words and pretty cards and hugs and cool kitchen stuff and pictures and books everywhere we look! I can’t wait to write a thank-you note to each of you. For now, I’ll start with a big group thank-you right here.
All of your notes, phone calls, text messages, e-mails, playlists, recommendations, cards, pictures, packages, and trips to see us—whether at the wedding or before or after—have made the past month the most magical, awe-inspiring moment of my life. I looked up synonyms for ‘thank you’ because it just isn’t enough to express all the gratitude and love I feel for you. The best way I can sum it up is this: my cheeks hurt from all the smiling, and they’ve hurt every day since July 13th. Honestly, I’m not sure they’ll ever recover.
Four Years In
Last week, when I was blogging about my new favorite hat, Devin read the title and asked if I was posting pictures of all my hats. ‘No’, I gasped, ‘but I will!’ because, as silly as it is, I think blogging about my love of hats would be an afternoon well-spent. And the fact that it occurred to Devin before me was a total ‘he gets me!’ moment.
Devin and I have been a couple for four years now, and I’ve been thinking about how to describe it–I mean, I am in Uncharted Territory here–I didn’t grow up around young couples and all the books and movies I consumed were about falling in love, not staying in it. In fact, most of the romantic comedies seemed to portray staying in love as unbearably boring if not impossible. Here’s what I learned about relationships from Hollywood: when you’re young, you’re beautiful and passionate and you have a beautiful wedding and lots of cool friends; fast-forward and you’re either divorced because you both cheated on each other or you’re this old couple wearing sweatpants who’s only in the movie to provide comedic relief by nagging each other and rolling your eyes. Um yeah, thanks but no thanks.
I thought love was this feeling that faded with time and that some people chose to stay together despite their diminished feelings, which is kind of…romantic in a way, but I thought probably not for me because I wanted my life to be fun, and I didn’t think wearing sweater sets and reminiscing about how much fun we used to have would do it for me.
These days I’m daydreaming of writing a screenplay for a new kind of romantic comedy. It would be called Four Years In and its cheesy tagline would be, ‘It gets AWESOME’.
The movie would be about how much fun it is to make up songs while you ride bikes and cook dinner while you dance in the kitchen. It would be about going to weddings together and not feeling nervous when people ask you when it’ll be ‘your turn’ because you know you both want to spend the rest of your lives together. It would be about all the inside jokes you accumulate over the years and the traditions you get to create; about knowing each other’s families and making up games to play in the pool with your younger cousins; about having embarrassing moments; and helping each other get through hard times. It would be about supporting one another in all your dreams and how much more fun you can have when you know how to avoid annoying the crap out of each other!
I’d probably hire another screenwriter to help me infuse that with some plot points or something. ; ) But honestly, I think it would be really great to have a rom-com in sharp contrast to all the patriarchal, capitalist, Men-Are-From-Mars-Women-Are-From-Venus, Committed-Relationships-Are-Boring movies about love that already exist.
My movie would be totally feminist and progressive! Only could it still have product placement? I really, really love product placement.
Here’s to four more!
kristy
smoothliminal 